Credo: the bones & Whistles
herein lives the philosophy and juicy elaborations on somatic intimacy, bodily sovereignty, and the sacred erotic practices of elle fox (me!).
Call it a buzzy, too-long-didn't-read elevator pitch
Call it a manifesta, the credo, the guts and glamour
Perhaps a tall tale of the Witch in the Northwoods
Call it a declaration
A poetic speculation!
this is my motivation.
I'm very interested in the somatic relationship we have with ourselves. I believe pleasure is a part of our internal medicine cabinet and can be harnessed and played around in to deepen the connection we have with ourselves and the divine. In a nut shell, I want people to tap into feeling safe, sexy, and secure. There are not many spaces that exist where we can explore these parts of ourselves, but we can explore them here. :)
The whole attempt of this is to tap into the juiciness of who you are and just lavish in it. The focus is honoring and worshiping your sacred erotic - however that might look for you. Often, just holding space for this pleasure is enough to decompress, unwind, and get curious.
I have developed this session over the span of nearly 6 years and its universal application can be used for a lot of different learning, exploration, and discovery.
Folks are interested in this work for a lot of different reasons. The following are the most common...Elaborated in their own separate pages for your reading if you feel so compelled...
From a healing perspective, I am in the pool of thought that our nervous systems can be *rewired* by consciously engaging in pleasure and the physical body. Trauma, bad experiences, shame, etc. can cause our nervous system to dis-regulate. Working with pleasure in a mindful way can help the nervous system regulate...sovereignty, bitches. We heal us. Aside from the well-known benefits of intentional touch, the lived-experience of how damn wonderful being affectionately touched is will never cease to amaze me. Read more on physical benefits here.
From a spiritual perspective, this work is about honoring the sacred parts of us - including the sacred erotic that swims within and around us. The sacred feminine and masculine energies, the chakras, the aura, the energetic knots, earth, air, fire, and water are all present with us during the session. I can talk woo-hoo spiritual shit all day, friends! I grew up Catholic, so I've been thinking about the body as a spirit tool since I was a wee-one. The body can be a spiritual tool - intuition, obscure dreamscapes of our trust in higher powers. Here for it! I can easily take on the role of sacred erotic servant, worshiping the sacred feminine within you, the same sacred feminine that creates everything in this world. This is a ritual - this is a prayer that lives in our skin and expresses itself in goosebumps and tingles. Aww...succulent reverence.
From a hobbyist perspective...is there an elephant in the room? *cough cough*...although I have never received a happy ending massage myself, this isn't what I imagine a typical massage parlor experience to be like. From the hobbyists I've seen, they tell me what I offer is much much different than what hobbyists are used to. I am not a massage therapist who up-charges for happy endings and I don't advertise or wish to be associated with websites where you can read reviews about providers. I am not particularly interested in working with folks who might go on a review site later to complain that I don't offer "p*ssy access" or "bee-jays" (yes, this actually happens) because frankly, you are a waste of everyone's time with that kind of disrespect and entitlement. I have strict boundaries and a well-established Consent & Discretion Policy that I expect everyone to respect and adhere to. :) Lots of hobbyists might be disappointed in what I offer...But some of you adore the shit out of me, so come on by and give 'er a try! I don't fully understand what it means when ya'll compare me to other providers saying things like "I feel less dirty with you. This was actually a meaningful experience to me." but I'm gonna roll with it and let you figure it out for yourself. If you need to feel less shame about seeking out services from sex workers, I can likely help out with that :)
If you happen to BE A SHREK WRKR, pshhh welcome babe! I would be happy to give you some pampering after having to deal with dudes I just described on a regular basis. I think so highly of you! It would be my absolute pleasure to hold space for you to unwind, soak in good juice, and float into the timeless cosmic multidimensional cloud you know so well. (Also - if you ever need items like Plan B, condoms, or pepper spray - let me know and I will hook you up!)
WE RESPECT AND HONOR THE BODILY & SEXUAL AGENCY OF EACH PERSON
We are very pro-ho and pro-recovery-from-purity-culture here. Inclusivity, acceptance, and accountability are taken super seriously. We must learn how to hold multiple truths at the same time and grow into capacity to understand and relate to perspectives that differ from our own.
Disclaimer: I am a human, equipped with all the humanness of emotions. I am capable of feeling disrespected, violated, and hurt. Don't be an ass hole and come at me with a sense of entitlement. I am happy to talk about all sorts of ways to make this experience AWESOME and catered to your needs within my skill set and boundaries - but! we NEED to have clear communication and informed consent. I am not interested in being anyone's personal tantra tank that you feel you can drink from whenever you want to in the exact way you want it. Somesimes and entire session requires a check-in and a full conversation to determine the best course of action as we continue to work together. Thaaaaanks.
From a self-discovery perspective, a somatic intimacy session can help build confidence, calm anxiety, and even teach you a few things you can take home to your personal or relationship practices. One does not need to be super into the spiritual and healing gunk to get benefits. We can discover how breath plays a role in our sexual energy without believing it is the nectar of the goddess...lol - Honestly, just getting a chance to be worshiped can help us receive messages about ourselves that can open and expand our connection to ourselves in a deeply profound way.
From a somatic-sex ed perspective, this can help people understand how their body navigates pleasure, identify obstacles, create pleasure zones, and heal from negative past experiences that we might associate with our arousal or pleasure. Things come up! People have cried on my table so many times - in grief, in joy, in relief, and everything in between. If somatic sex ed resonates with you - please ensure to indicate this when you book so I can be sure to have resources available.
No matter what - it is meant to keep you in a space where you can engage with yourself with no strings attached, guided support, and acceptance of who you are and what you bring with you, or what you (maybe) are looking to leave behind.
MY ETHICS as inspired by other sx educators, sx workers, and agencies that teach providers
I will never:
pretend that i know what is best for you better than you do
I will always:
have my client's best interest and safety in mind
honor a client lines and boundaries
be consistent and deliver clear no-touch boundaries
engage in informed consent before each and every session
always use personal protective equipment when necessary
I am often caught between worlds and the stories that cradle the worlds I swim around. There is the sex work world, the sex therapy world, and the spiritual world. The two hardest worlds to exist in at the same time are the first two. The sex work world is so massively misunderstood in our society and culture that I don't even really know where to begin with this one. In attempts to 'female empowerment', many feminists are adimatently against sex work, believeing it exists to appease the patriachy and submit to the needs of men. I am not one of those feminists. I am not a swerf - and you shouldn't be either. Sex work is complex and is knee deep in intersectional feminist theory. In the sex work world, workers are just expected to do sexy things, get paid, go home. But this isn't even close to the reality of which I have seen. Yes, it is OFTEN as simple as coming to an agreement, full-filling that agreement,and going home. Botta boom, everyone's happy.
But not everyone who seeks out sex work is just looking for sex. Some people are looking for affection, attention, and compassion. They are looking for someone who will listen to their worries, their qualms of the world, their fantasies, and share space with someone they find beautiful.
THE GARDENING PROJECT
I write a lot. I journal almost every day.
I frequently find myself playing with garden analogies.
It makes a lot of sense because I love plants! I love growing things. I love learning how to grow things.
A lot of my spare time is spent with plants, learning about how they grow, what each specific one needs to grow the best way.
I once even gifted aloe plants to some sx wrkrs with a note saying "like this aloe you thrive even in harsh conditions".
For years I have been using plants, gardens, and the wild nature as a lens to understand my place and function in the world. A dear friend once brought this idea to me..."did we cultivate the trees, or did the trees cultivate us?" - mind. blown.
I'm the kind of person who has sobbed just thinking about how trees' roots only go about 4 feet into the earth. The realization 'they only go as deep as they need to' put me into a weeping puddle of gratitude for such a beautiful lesson to be learned by a tree.
I fucking love shit that grows.
So - in many ways, I think the Earth is my fundamental understanding of god/the universe. I don't practice any particular practice that is solely embedded in a particular lineage of spirituality or religion - I never have! I've *tried*, but it just doesn't work for me.
what DOES work for me is using my real life experience with my surroundings as a meaningful tool to understand my life experience. If I find meaning in the trees only growing 4 feet into earth, then so fucking be it. if that means nothing to you, that's really cool, too.
So let's just pretend life is a big gardening project.
We have lots of things to consider when we garden: sunlight, shade, location, soil condition, water access, seasons, weather, and proper care like weeding, pruning, dead-heading, picking, harvesting, and composting.
SO MANY THINGS GOING ON!
and call me wild, but it's real easy for me to place a spiritual somatic lens over all these considerations.
Sunlight = our inner sun/light,
shade = our shadow/moon > deep parts of ourselves, unconscious, maybe hidden, where triggers might live
location = chakras/body areas or parts > locating where emotions live in the body, locating where we need medicine, love, or compassion
soil condition = authentic desires, values, and beliefs > what are we actually dealing with here? what makes up our philosophy
water access = emotional capacity,
seasons = elemental alchemy/death/birth
weather = chaos/order, duality/polarity
weeding = what doesn't work
pruning = boundaries?
dead-heading = what needs to go so new things can come?
harvesting = goals/readiness/relationship with time
composting = experiences build upon themselves, we evolve, we shed skin to nourish new skin
seriously - life is a big gardening project. :)
I think a lot about having a body is fucking wild - it's truly just magnificent that while we don't know what the fuck is happening, we actually DO KNOW A LOT. We might not know what is causing pain, but we know for sure shit that we are in pain. We might not know how love works, what chemicals get produced by what glands when we make eye contact with a cutie near the bananas at the grocery store - but we KNOW when we catch the feels, fall in love, fall out of love. Right?
We know nothing. Yet at the same time also know...everything!
I am a big fan of the 'experience side' of life. The parts of life that we can't find words for. Or the experiences that are only ever understood by being in my body.
I use the example of my first time swimming in the ocean to explain what I mean. I usually try to use the absence of explanation to explain this - which doesn't in the little lease make any sense, i know. but just hang in there with me. We are used to being able to use language to express ourselves; emotions, thoughts, ideas, affection, blah. But what about those experiences that we can't find words for? Experiences that words don't exist for? Are we really meant to limit ourselves because we are limited in words? And Science! Gosh science and spirituality have been trying to fight each other since their conception (remember, we made this shit up)
I love science, too! Don't get me wrong - science. is. dope. Scientists are great and I am so happy they exist and spend their lives on BIG IDEAS figuring out BIG PROBLEMS. High five to ALL THE SCIENCE GEEEKSS! We love youuu.
BUT! What science will never have a chance at succeeding is telling me about MY EXPERIENCE.